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The U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission is obsessed with wellness programs.

Or, as the EEOC likes to describe them “‘so-called’ wellness programs.” And not in a “yay, so-called wellness programs are super” kinda way.

No, in recent months, the EEOC has initiated litigation against companies (example, example, example) claiming that they violate the Americans with Disabilities Act and the Genetic Information Non-Disclosure Act by both requiring medical examination and penalizing employees who decline to participate.

Or maybe it’s the good karma from yesterday’s Social Media @ Work giveaway.

Whatever it may be, I’ll just smile and say thank you to the ABA Journal for honoring The Employer Handbook (again) as one of the top blogs in America.

Special props also go out to the other blogs honored in the Labor and Employment Category:

Frankly, I’m disappointed, you guys.

To the 10,002 of you who read this blog, only 1 showed up at the Social Media @ Work event my firm hosted earlier in the month at the National Constitution Center in Philadelphia.

Ok, even my parents and kids skipped this one. (I almost had two of my kids in the audience. I offered some yellow post-it notes and a blue highlighter, but they bargained hard for an extra Jell-O cup, and I wouldn’t cave).

Also, threatening to drag that employee outside and throw him in a ditch. Yeah, that may fracture a law or two. I’m thinking the Family and Medical Leave Act.

Heck, even the Taliban would frown on that.

I got more on this for you after the jump…

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Yesterday, the EEOC issued its FY 2014 Performance Report. Here is a link to the press release.

Now, I’ll admit it. I didn’t read the whole report. Blogging has got me all messed up. I can’t read anything that’s more than 250 words. So, I just stopped at the part in the report where it said that total charges dropped by 5,000 in FY14. So, I didn’t get to the part of the report that credits this blog, in particular, for the drop in charges. But, I assume it’s in there somewhere.

I also wanted to give a nice shout-out to the EEOC’s national mediation program, in which I participate as a pro-bono mediator. Of the 10,221 mediations conducted in FY14, 7,846 of ’em settled. Based on the math I just did in my head, that’s a success rate of 97%. Ok, 77%. But, that’s still pretty darn good. Shaq’s free throw percentage is jealous.

Last night, Mikhail Gorbachev and Ronald Reagan came to me in a dream.

You see, we were at a video arcade, the two of them playing the classic, Street Fighter. I had next. Mr. Gorbachev was playing as Zangief and President Reagan was Guile. Because, of course.

So, just as the Premier was about to close it out, the President dropped the controls, put Mr. Gorbachev in a headlock and gave him a noogie. I’m talking right on that spot! I mean, the more he noogied, well, the spot started to change colors. From red to silver to pure gold. At which point, Mr. Gorbachev turned to me and said,

“Meyer, start a series on your blog called What Would HR Do. Perestroika!”

Alrighty then. So, it begins. WWHRD coming up after the jump…

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“Doing What’s Right – Not Just What’s Legal”