Hey there, United States District Court for the Northern District of Illinois, Eastern Division.
This Americans with Disabilities Act failure-to-accomodate opinion right here. You had me at “Ortiz reported to work on April 5, 2010, carrying one empty and three full cans of ‘Mike’s Hard Lemonade’ (an alcoholic beverage), along with raw meat.”
I may borrow that line for my Hangover Part IV treatment. It stars Zach Galifianakis and the rest of the crew — cameos by Pee Wee Herman, Octomom, and Peter Dinklage (as Tyrion Lannister) — and centers around the hi-jinx that ensue after the boys get blackout drunk following Alan’s nephew’s bris.