A Helpful Guide for People About to Hit “Send” Anyway
Despite decades of evidence, some professionals continue to believe Christmas Eve is an appropriate time to introduce new thoughts into the workplace. It is not.
For those who remain uncertain, what follows is a non-exhaustive list of email subject lines that function as a legally binding confession: I should not be sending this today.
“Quick question.”
Translation: I am about to create a situation. This question will require background, documentation, at least one follow-up, and someone who has already mentally clocked out and is holding a mug of something stronger than coffee.
“Before the end of the year…”
A classic. Usually deployed by someone who has known about this issue since at least Q2 and has chosen December 24 as the moment of truth. Often paired with the phrase “shouldn’t take long,” which has never once been accurate.
“Just flagging.”
Flagging is what people do when they want credit for raising an issue without responsibility for resolving it. Congratulations. The flag has been noted. It will be gently placed back on your desk in January.
“Can you review this today?”
Bold. Confident. Almost admirable. This email presumes availability, willingness, and that “today” means the same thing to everyone involved. None of these assumptions hold.
“Need a quick call.”
No, you need comfort. You are seeking reassurance that the decision you already made will not blow up while everyone else is unreachable. A call will not provide that reassurance.
“FYI.”
This is not an FYI. This is a task wearing a fake mustache. Removing the mustache does not make it festive.
“URGENT.”
If it were urgent, it would not be arriving on December 24. If it is both urgent and vague, you have successfully activated someone’s stress response while providing no actionable information.
“Following up on the below.”
The “below” is from October. Christmas did not cause the delay. Time did not get weird. You simply waited.
“Thoughts?”
My thoughts are that this email should have stayed in drafts until January 2. My other thoughts are none of your business until then.
Christmas Eve emails have a certain seasonal quality. They exist. They circulate. They accomplish very little. The lights are on, the inbox is open, and everyone quietly agrees this is mostly theater.
Which brings us, briefly, to lawyers.
Christmas Eve is also an excellent day to remember the ancient legal custom of the courtesy deadline extension. Absent extraordinary circumstances – and “I just realized this was due” does not qualify – nothing meaningful is accomplished by forcing opposing counsel to scramble on December 24. No one wins. No record is enhanced. No one later says, “I’m glad we were aggressive about that.”
Most of the time, the courtesy is repaid. And if it isn’t, January is a much better month for grudges.
Which is fine. Every workplace needs traditions.
Happy holidays [and whatever it is you celebrate]!