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While not quite Harvey Weinstein claims, the allegations about this workplace will make your head spin.

My turn-ons include fantasy football and this ugly holiday sweater, which I cannot wait to debut this season.

I also dig smart legal writing. Although, one could never discern that by perusing my dumpster fire of a law blog. To start to fix that, today, I’m going to quote liberally from a fine piece of legal writing. This sexual harassment complaint filed yesterday in New York is a series of allegations that may be true. Or not. There are two sides to every story.

But, I know on which side here I’d want to be.

Without further ado:

This is a sexual harassment case. For two and a half years at the legal recruiting firm Wegman Partners, Complainant Veronica McILraith was subjected to an astounding barrage of groping and sexually explicit and derogatory comments, texts, emails, and signs by her boss, Wegman’s Chairman of Partner Recruiting, Scott Legg. Just a few examples of the nearly constant sexual harassment Ms. McILraith endured include: Mr. Legg groped her breasts, forced her to touch him, said he wanted to “suck on her boobies,” humped and licked her office door, and asked her to “contribute” to a drawing of an ejaculating penis, which Mr. Legg then hung in the office, where it remained for months. It was still hanging there when CEO Colby Wegman visited the New York office this summer—but he did not even comment on it, and it was left hanging there.

You have my attention. Indeed, if I get served with that complaint, I’m like…

Still, I can hear some of you skeptics out there saying, “Pics, or it didn’t happen.” Oh, this complaint has pictures too. And they tell grab your checkbook and settle, Defendants a thousand words. Maggie Serota, in this NSFW-ish post over at Death and Taxes, was kind enough to pull them from the complaint to save you the effort.

And while I want to emphasize again that there are two sides to every story, I’m thinking that the only thing that may save the defendants in this case is Loki returning to Manhattan to do another number on the city before the Avengers can return to save the day.

The takeaway here is that if your workplace is anywhere near as bad as this one is portrayed, RUN!!!!

But before you leave, please allow me to promote two events in early November, at which I’d love to see all of you:

On November 2, 2017, from 4-6 pm, one of Philadelphia’s greatest recent startup successes, RevZilla, will spill the beans on how it became so successful using social media to build its brand and business. This event is perfect for business owners, social media managers, and marketing professionals. Anyone who wants to attend can click here to RSVP. For more information about this free session (where we’ll also ply you with cellar temperature stout beer and chocolate chip cookies) can click here.

On November 7, 2017, from 8:30-11:00 am, along with Univest Insurance, Inc., we are presenting a free breakfast seminar entitled “Preparing for 2018: What Employers Need to Know.” Among the topics we’ll hit will be: (a) the state of healthcare reform; (b) medical marijuana and the workplace; (c) employee free speech or lack thereof (think: Charlottesville, NFL, and social media generally); (d) the politicized workplace; and (e) impact of the opioid crisis. This program has already been approved for HR and CLE and is perfect for business owners, in-house counsel, and human resource professionals. Can’t make it on the 7th? We’ll do it again on the 8th and 9th. To RSVP, click here. You can find more information on the event here.