The allure of gooey grilled cheese made me late for work

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Since we began the blogging week so seriously, let’s end it on a lighter note.

I’ve got the results of the CareerBuilder’s survey of “This Year’s Most Outrageous Employee Excuses for Being Late”.

Without further ado:

  • I forgot it wasn’t the weekend.
  • I put petroleum jelly in my eyes.
  • I had to watch a soccer game that was being played in Europe.
  • I thought Flag Day was a legal holiday.
  • My pet turtle needed to visit the exotic animal clinic.
  • The wind blew the deck off my house.
  • I overslept because my kids changed all the clocks in the house.
  • I was cornered by a moose.
  • My mother locked me in the closet.
  • The pizza I ordered was late being delivered, and I had to be home to accept/pay for it.
  • The sunrise was so beautiful that I had to stop and take it in.
  • My mother-in-law wouldn’t stop talking.
  • My dad offered to make me a grilled cheese sandwich, and I couldn’t say no.

Let’s keep it 100; who among us hasn’t been thrown off schedule by Flag Day?

But, I’m guessing, as per usual, that my readers have heard much better excuses than those highlighted in the CareerBuilder survey. And, since I could use a Friday chuckle, please email me your best and brightest hella-stupidest employee lateness excuses to me.

Updated:
  • Heavy Metal Lawyer

    I know of two different stories from friends who lived in Alaska who were late to work because a moose was in their front yard. Apparently it’s a thing up there and when both of them called in to say they would be late and why, their bosses totally understood. Seriously, you can’t leave your house with a moose on your front lawn because apparently they are extremely dangerous. And in Alaska, apparently having a moose visit your yard happens. So you have to just be a hostage in your own house until the moose decides to leave.

  • Mallory

    Love these, but I’m surprised the pet turtle one is on here. Couldn’t a turtle have a medical emergency just like a dog or a cat? If so it might need to go to an “exotic” animal hospital for treatment.
    Also I totally believe the mother-in-law one!!!