Cue the haters.

Following a decision last Thursday permitting employees to use company email to badmouth you and unionize, the National Labor Relations Board ended last week by passing a new rule, which, in its words, updated “its representation-case procedures to modernize and streamline the process for resolving representation disputes.”

In other words, faster union elections and more of ’em.

Details on this new rule and what employers can do about it, after the jump…

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YES, THAT’S RIGHT. NO BIG DEAL.

Hey, if you’re a big employment dork like me, (vote Handbook!), you’ve already read a bunch of blog posts, and you’ll read several more about how the sky is falling after yesterday’s NLRB decision, in which the Board held that employees may use company email to discuss the terms and conditions of employment.

Yes, this decision extends to any workplace — not just unionized workplaces — that is covered by the National Labor Relations Act. And, yes, it may help your employees communicate with one another to form a union (gasp!) or otherwise discuss working conditions, but…

Monday kinda sucked for the EEOC.

The agency that made scrutiny of employee background checks a top priority under its current Strategic Enforcement Plan has been ordered by a federal court to turn over its own background check policy to an employer whom it is suing for a criminal background check policy that allegedly had a disparate impact on black employees.

*** smiles, grinds teeth, and inhales deeply ***

More after the jump…

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When you’re part of the bloggerati, just one half-step below the illuminati, well, let’s just say membership has its privileges. AMEX taupe card, rinkside seats to the local roller derby, earlybird specials, the world is your oyster.

And, at work, the staff sees me coming and runs the other way throngs to my office. Indeed, it’s gotten so bad, that we had to install security machines to control ingress and egress. While my firm can’t wait for me to jump ship loves the attention that my blog brings — remember you can vote for my blog in the ABA Blawg 100 — the folks who sign my mega-paycheck expressed concern that it would also have to compensate our non-exempt employees for the spent clearing security.

Thankfully, yesterday, the Supreme Court, in this opinion, unanimously ruled that the time these folks spend clearing security is not compensable under the Fair Labor Standards Act. That’s because the time our staff spends waiting in line to clear security is neither indispensable nor integral to their principal activities in the office. They get paid to do legal work; not wait in line. And, absent the security, these folks could still do their jobs. And, even though my firm requires our awesome staff to clear security because of my blogging greatness and related fame and notoriety, the Portal-to-Portal Act exempts employers from FLSA liability for this this preliminary and postliminary time.

Just seems like common sense to me, especially where the employee seeking the accommodation would have to operate a motor vehicle.

Wait a minute!

Did an employee with a disability under the Americans with Disabilities Act really think it would be reasonable for his employer to allow him to take narcotic pain medication so that he could operate a company vehicle pain free?

More after the jump…

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Little known fact: Pythagoras invented the Pythagorean theorem around 500 BC, which he nearly dubbed the  Chicken Pot Pie theorem, because he loved CPPs so much. That same year, Pythagoras’s brother, Sarogahtyp, discovered that, when one man tweaks another man’s nipple, it’s not sex discrimination. But, it will get you a black eye — especially when the recipient is your brother and he’s finalizing his legendary theorem when finishing off a flaky CPP.

Thousands of years later, it still holds true that when a man delivers a purple nurple — some of you know it by a more boorish synonym — to a male subordinate, it may be “manifestly inappropriate and obnoxious,” as one federal appellate court ruled last week, but it’s probably not sex discrimination.

More after the jump…

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I had planned to blog today about yesterday’s oral argument before the Supreme Court in Young v. UPS, the case about when an employer must accommodate a pregnant employee.

But…

The Philadelphia 76ers stole the spotlight — and my evening — with their first win of the season, an 85-77 victory over the Minneapolis Timberwolves, whose team colors of white, blue, and black have officially been replaced with shame, ignominy, and more shame.